May 19, 2012

Relationship Enders

Relationships start out so beautifully and romantically, but when the end comes, it’s rarely pleasant. This is especially true if they could have been saved by having the destructive forces within the relationship stopped in time. Sadly, that rarely happens because by the time these factors have poisoned the relationship, it’s pretty much over. Try to avoid that happening to your relationship by being aware of the following relationship enders:

Ongoing criticism: Once the bloom is off the rose, so to speak, most couples begin showing who they really are. There are many issues with this. They start needing their own space, can’t adjust to each other, or they don’t like each other’s friends. Any or all of these things can cause ongoing criticism that leads to the end.

Lying: It doesn’t matter if it was a tiny white lie or a huge black one. A lie has the power to completely destroy a relationship. Even if the lie was told in panic or accidently, once the trust is broken, it’s pretty hard to repair it.

Cheating: Everyone interprets cheating in different ways. The ground rules for this need to be discussed at the beginning of the relationship so pitfalls can be avoided.

Snooping: If you’re suspicious that your partner is doing something wrong or that you won’t lie, it’s still not a good idea to spy and snoop on them. Instead, confront your partner with how you’re feeling and try to talk it out.

Intense jealousy: Some jealousy can be a positive force in your relationship. However, if there’s too much jealousy and possessiveness, it can smother your relationship and suck all the life out of it.

Referring to past relationships: This is a big one because if you keep talking about your ex, whether it’s flattering or insulting; your current partner is going to get tired of feeling like they’re being compared to all of your exes.

Communication blocks: Effective communication is vital to the success of a relationship. If you keep something bottled up instead of talking about it, things will only get worse. Talking is necessary to work through any issues.

Taking each other for granted: This is another thing that seems to just happen when couples have been together for a while. Never assume that your partner will always be there. If you know the possibility of your partner leaving is based in reality, you may be more appreciative of each other.

Dull routines: Routines can be both good and bad in a relationship. You’ve got to find the balance between a routine and security.

Sexual issues: Two years seems to be the turning point for relationships, as in the sexual part of it starts going down the tubes. You both have to work at finding ways to keep excitement in the relationship so that it doesn’t simply fade away.

When you look at this list, it may occur to you that most of the problems related to the ending of relationships are related. In fact, if you manage to solve one of the problems, it’s interesting how others simply vanish.

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